Week 103 - Slam 2 >Big audition last Wednesday. I’d say I’d give myself a B+. I read this
>thing about Leo DiCaprio - he was going up for his big role in Marvin’s Room
>and he had to read with Robert DeNiro, and they came out into the hall to
>get him and he was doing karate kicks with his friends in the hallway.
>Karate kicks in the hall. This kid goes in to the room, reads, screams his
>lines at DeNiro, gets the part, yadda yadda yadda, Titanic. So that’s how I
>approached this audition. I knew the material, wanted to be loose, so I
>found the room where we were going to be reading, got there early, loosened
>up, did some Bruce Lee shit in the mirror, was feeling pretty good about
>things. We do the reading, I make the producers laugh - everything’s all
>good. Yadda yadda yadda, laughter
>
>I get the call the next day. ‘Dave, you’re great. We loved you. It was a
>pleasure watching you read. I can’t encourage you enough. We went
>the other way.’
>‘We went the other way’ means one of three things.
>1. I’m lying, you weren’t good at all, and so we didn’t cast you.
>2. I’m sleeping with the guy we did cast, so we didn’t cast you.
>3. The guy we cast is untalented, and a prick, but his father’s the
>director, so we cast him.
>
>Or, I suppose,
>
> 4. You were good, sport, but somebody else was A) better, B) taller
>C) shorter D) Chinese and E) fit the bill better than you did.
>
>In these situations you want to yell
>A) if you wanted to encourage me, why didn’t given me the part, jagoff?
>B) Why don’t you love me? I love me!
>C) I didn’t want to be in your stupid play anyway.
>D) Well, I’m never acting again.
>
>But then I remember. The swim teams I coached, greatness takes time.
>Collegiate didn’t win states the first year, or the second, or the third.
>They got 8th, then 4th, then 2nd, then first. So maybe the fourth or fifth
>time you’re up for a plum part at that theatre with that particular director
>- you know - maybe that’s when it clicks. After all, all of these people
>are new contacts - you’re on their radar screen now. You shared a room with
>them. They asked you to come into that room - it’s a start - it’s something
>to build on - so the faster you can brush it off, the faster you can
>regroup, turn it around, the better off you’re going to be. You’re not
>going to quit, so get on with it. Those are your choices. Quit, or get on
>with it.
>
>So enough whining. I ain’t quittin - I got shows to do. Project 7 is
>producing a show called LIVE COVERAGE at the Access Theatre. You should
>check it out. It has war, sand, camels and biting political satire. We’re
>at the Access Theatre, 380 Broadway, 4th floor on the following dates:
>
>Tomorrow, 8/18 3 pm
>Friday 8/20 9:45 p
>Weds 8/25 4:45 p
>Sunday 8/29 noon
>
>And I will be back on stage for EST’s political festival: WHOSE COUNTRY IS
>IT ANYWAY? on
>Tuesday, August 24 at 8:30p
>Wednesday, September 1 at 8:30 p
>
>Mega laughs guaranteed. You know the deal - you come to a show I’m in and
>you don’t laugh out loud, I buy your beer at the after party. So, hope you
>can make it. Email me for directions or ticket info. Word.  ¶ 9:51 PM