Thursday, August 02, 2007
THE MATCH TEAM GOES TO HOLLYWOOD
So, everything you’ve heard about LA is true. All the girls are skinny and ‘beautiful’, the sun is always shining, most of the people are fake. Well, I don’t know if fake is the right word, but in LA you will be rewarded more for the appearance of success than anything resembling, I don’t know, loyalty? Once in a while you will be required to back up the appearance of success with tangible results, but since nobody knows anything, everybody gravitates towards the people who look like they have it all figured out. Make sense?
Last Wednesday, with great trepidation I prepared for my first LA meeting at The Orlando Hotel. I sweated everything, what to wear, how early to get there, what I would drive... And once I got there, what was my strategy? Would I hang back and listen until I was up to speed on the game, or would I charge into the fray, spitting business cards and HOT4TEACHER postcards?
I Google-mapped The Orlando, left twenty minutes early, drove across town, my mind racing. I arrived, found parking near the hotel, stepped up to the doorman wondering if I should have rented a Ferrarri to make my grand entrance. Yeah, that actually crossed my mind.
The doorman opened the door for me. I made my way to the reception desk. I was smooth. “Hi. I’m here for ITVF.”
“Who?” the lady at reception said.
“ITVF.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“The Independent Television Festival,” I said. “The PilotMaker Luncheon?”
“Oh, that,” she said. “It was cancelled. Like an hour ago.”
“Oh,” I said.
She paused. “Welcome to LA.”
My friend Shane (who very generously let us crash on his floor for the week) put it this way: it’s a sunny town for lots of shady people.
Which is not to say we didn’t meet a lot of stand up folks. It’s just that EVERYONE is in the film/tv biz. If you go to a party, eight out of ten of us are writer/directors. The ninth is a producer who just got into writing/directing, and the tenth is stoned.
TOP 5 TRIP HIGHLIGHTS:
#5 At the UNC-Hollywood cocktail party we saw Eva Marie Saint and met the director of The Break Up and the Chairman of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
#4 At Friday’s red carpet we saw Nicholas Cage’s son and wife (ex-wife)? Rumor has it the red carpet was for Nick, but he didn’t show. (We asked the photographers to get some pictures of the Hot for Teacher cast. They kindly obliged.)
#3 Saturday we got a pitch meeting with one of the execs at Current TV (Al Gore’s TV channel). We pitched them a show about the NYC off-off Broadway scene which they liked (and may buy.)
#2 We learned how to be TV executives: Take lots of meetings. If Steven Spielberg comes in and pitches you a show about mud, you say yes. Because if you don’t, and it’s a hit, your boss says, ‘Steven Spielberg brings you mud, and you say “no”?’
And if you say ‘yes’, and it’s not a hit, you can always say, ‘what, I’m gonna say no to Steven Spielberg?’
And our number one trip highlight:
HOT FOR TEACHER star Michael Schreiber arrives at the Saturday night screening whacked out on Pseudophed. Michael borrows my festival pass (retail value $150) to grab a drink at the bar. On his way back ‘a cute girl who looked like Penelope Cruz’ asks if she can borrow his pass for a second. He says yes. He hands it to her. She puts it around her neck. We never see her again.
Welcome to LA.
We had a great trip, did lots of networking, and we’re glad to be home. HOT FOR TEACHER will be screening in New York City on Thursday, August 30, at 8 p.m. And in Richmond, VA either on September 15 or 22 at The Byrd Theatre, late afternoon. Hope to see you soon. ¶ 10:18 PM
Last Wednesday, with great trepidation I prepared for my first LA meeting at The Orlando Hotel. I sweated everything, what to wear, how early to get there, what I would drive... And once I got there, what was my strategy? Would I hang back and listen until I was up to speed on the game, or would I charge into the fray, spitting business cards and HOT4TEACHER postcards?
I Google-mapped The Orlando, left twenty minutes early, drove across town, my mind racing. I arrived, found parking near the hotel, stepped up to the doorman wondering if I should have rented a Ferrarri to make my grand entrance. Yeah, that actually crossed my mind.
The doorman opened the door for me. I made my way to the reception desk. I was smooth. “Hi. I’m here for ITVF.”
“Who?” the lady at reception said.
“ITVF.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“The Independent Television Festival,” I said. “The PilotMaker Luncheon?”
“Oh, that,” she said. “It was cancelled. Like an hour ago.”
“Oh,” I said.
She paused. “Welcome to LA.”
My friend Shane (who very generously let us crash on his floor for the week) put it this way: it’s a sunny town for lots of shady people.
Which is not to say we didn’t meet a lot of stand up folks. It’s just that EVERYONE is in the film/tv biz. If you go to a party, eight out of ten of us are writer/directors. The ninth is a producer who just got into writing/directing, and the tenth is stoned.
TOP 5 TRIP HIGHLIGHTS:
#5 At the UNC-Hollywood cocktail party we saw Eva Marie Saint and met the director of The Break Up and the Chairman of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
#4 At Friday’s red carpet we saw Nicholas Cage’s son and wife (ex-wife)? Rumor has it the red carpet was for Nick, but he didn’t show. (We asked the photographers to get some pictures of the Hot for Teacher cast. They kindly obliged.)
#3 Saturday we got a pitch meeting with one of the execs at Current TV (Al Gore’s TV channel). We pitched them a show about the NYC off-off Broadway scene which they liked (and may buy.)
#2 We learned how to be TV executives: Take lots of meetings. If Steven Spielberg comes in and pitches you a show about mud, you say yes. Because if you don’t, and it’s a hit, your boss says, ‘Steven Spielberg brings you mud, and you say “no”?’
And if you say ‘yes’, and it’s not a hit, you can always say, ‘what, I’m gonna say no to Steven Spielberg?’
And our number one trip highlight:
HOT FOR TEACHER star Michael Schreiber arrives at the Saturday night screening whacked out on Pseudophed. Michael borrows my festival pass (retail value $150) to grab a drink at the bar. On his way back ‘a cute girl who looked like Penelope Cruz’ asks if she can borrow his pass for a second. He says yes. He hands it to her. She puts it around her neck. We never see her again.
Welcome to LA.
We had a great trip, did lots of networking, and we’re glad to be home. HOT FOR TEACHER will be screening in New York City on Thursday, August 30, at 8 p.m. And in Richmond, VA either on September 15 or 22 at The Byrd Theatre, late afternoon. Hope to see you soon. ¶ 10:18 PM
